The role of the failed narcissist is not one that he has chosen voluntarily, but it occurs particularly among once professionally successful narcissists as soon as they feel that they can no longer achieve professional success.

Prestige, reputation, money, power – for the narcissist, these are the magic four that make it easy for him to take his self-presentation and self-aggrandizement to extremes.
This narcissist can satisfy his greed for more at any time. His stage, his extras, his audience – his prestigious presence makes it easy to control and manipulate everything.

His own feelings of envy are alleviated by the apparent envy of others. Male narcissists in particular tend to want to stabilize their self-esteem and fragile self-image through their professional careers. They define themselves through their profession, while their family or partners are the extras in their unparalleled success. A grateful audience that always applauds at the right moments – or remains silent. Such narcissists often have a narcissistic partner who basks in their partner’s success and whose personality is just as dependent on this self-image as the narcissist’s own.
Especially for narcissistic men who have also grown up with a rigid division of roles, it makes sense that the only way to experience self-confidence and appreciation is through professional achievement.

The fall is correspondingly great when this framework is shaken, e.g., by unemployment, pandemic, or retirement age. The narcissist is unable to act independently and alone, as his own existence will never be enough for him. Therefore, he is dependent on his environment reflecting his perfectionism.

If the mirror of self-aggrandizement disappears and feelings of power and control can no longer be exercised to the extent that was comfortable for the narcissist, this triggers a crisis. The narcissist will find it difficult to have his self-aggrandizement reflected solely by his family. He has never taken an active part in family life and sees no chance of achieving the same satisfying result for his former “achievements” here. The family is his audience, but not real supporting actors on his stage – no competition, no real rivals, no rivals, no gain.

The formerly successful narcissist becomes a failed narcissist.
Because he will not be able to free himself from this crisis. That would require self-reflection, recognition of his denied “weaknesses,” and a change in thinking—impossible for a narcissistic personality. Only if he were to succeed in bringing new actors onto his stage in some form who mirror his self-aggrandizement would he experience a high. Otherwise, he will fall into self-pity and depressive lethargy – a narcissistic crisis.