The Family Script – Which role do you play?

How do you react when conflict arises around you? I withdraw and stay silent. I feel afraid and try to calm things down. I get loud or angry. I try to comfort others or lighten the mood. I feel left out or detached. I stay polite and pretend everything is fine.

How do you feel when you’re sitting with your family or a group? I get easily irritated or angry. I feel like I don’t really belong. I prefer to stay in the background and say little. I worry about what might happen next. I try to keep everyone in a good mood. I make sure everything stays polite and harmonious.

How do you handle conflict in relationships? I get defensive and raise my voice. I’m afraid of being abandoned and tend to adapt. I try to absorb and calm the other person’s feelings. I remain friendly, even when I’m hurting inside. I feel distant and emotionally disconnected. I stay quiet and withdraw.

What do you need most in daily life? Peace and solitude. Safety and reliability. To have my boundaries respected. Harmony in my relationships. A sense of belonging. Recognition and a good image to others.

Which role do you usually take in a group? The one who feels insecure. The quiet one in the background. The one who resists or challenges things. The perfectionist who keeps everything running. The mediator or comforter. The outsider.

What stresses you out the most? Too many people or too much noise. When others are sad or hurt. Uncertainty or unpredictability. When I’m not heard or taken seriously. When things appear imperfect. Feeling unseen or unimportant.

How do you respond to criticism? I stay silent and withdraw. I quickly feel insecure. I push back or get defensive. I try to understand the criticism and calm the other person. I feel excluded anyway. I smile, even when it hurts.

What do you think about your childhood? I was mostly quiet and compliant. I carried a lot of anger inside. I was often afraid of doing something wrong. I tried to help others. I always kept up a perfect image. I never truly felt like I belonged.

How do you cope when you’re hurt? Anger or confrontation. Fearful avoidance. Comforting and showing understanding. Silence and withdrawal. A polite smile, even when it hurts. Emotional distance.

What do others probably wish you would do? Speak up more. Be braver. Stay calmer. Keep being there for everyone. Be more involved. Keep everything perfect.

What is hardest for you to handle? Injustice. Loud arguments. Lack of emotional closeness. Sudden changes. Exclusion. Chaos and mistakes.

What gives you the most strength? Time alone. Standing up for myself. Stability and safety. Helping others. Feeling truly understood. When everything looks successful from the outside.

Which role do you play in your family story?